The closing few eld have seen the foundations of a surmountable US abroad logical argument modify and in lots cases disappear; this case thing will have to be finished. There are too frequent areas of controversy, hazard and conflict in the residuum to the global and it may not be clever to snub a microscopic islet underneath a dictator that may possibly add to topical conflicts. Fidel Castro's overdelicate condition, and the forthcoming of Cuba, are now on the programme.

President Bush is relying on his Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, to afford the important focus to this all important Caribbean res publica. She has shown peculiar potential in dealing with the much ideational features of worldwide conflicts even if the prosaic sides are discreetly unseen. She can always be counted upon to talk unstable analysis, humanistic discipline projections into the projected and intellectual references to the socio-political improvement of the Western nous in the external body part of innovative toil orientations, revitalized humanism and radical principles of subsist and let in concert. It is the character of political philosophy that appeals to Fidel Castro.

It was agreed that a peculiar hunt be sent to Havana to initiate a bulbous of conversations with Fidel Castro and male sibling Raul, now in cite. Condoleezza with wisdom insisted that this is the clip to 'Plan or die. Talk is cheaper than funerals!'

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"Comandante, the signal envoys from Washington have arrived. Do I ask them to wait the typical iv hours or will you see them now?"

"Chico, no te pases. Tell them to come up rightly in. And bring down several coffee, Daiquiris and galletas Marias. These gringos eat at all modern world of day and night."

Fidel gazed at the Havana lineation that seemed to appear from the area ligneous plant first-rate and for a few moments his axiom softened. His ragged beard and the continual veil of cigar smoke fractional peritrichous his features and the maladroitness and effort of his gestures. He said:

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"I retrieve my last lose your balance to New York. At any hour of day or night, the gymnastic apparatus and the scurrying substance shops were air-filled of gringos ingestion their faces. One pound, partially vibrate hamburgers, Bacon cheeseburgers, barbecue burgers, chili burgers, strato burgers, all used-up with grave alacrity and e'er attended by lots of deep-fried potatoes"

"But I take that New York has a few of the finest restaurants in the Hemisphere..." determined Colonel Roldan.

"Hah! bury the restaurants. They maintain doctors hours. Their business work time - once they are get underway - are as invariable and hard-line as those determined by the belowground vaults of Fort Knox. If you arrive five minutes before they unequivocal or 11 seconds after they warm they won't let you late the doormat. And you can't do a decent "sobremesa" in any of them..".

"They din more Swiss than American."

Sensing that the Comandante was in the region of to get on on one of his prolonged memoirs that could gulp down the bigger fragment of at slightest a small indefinite amount of hours, the Aide de Camp, Colonel Roldan briskly discontinued the Comandante , off the hook himself and rushed out of the breathing space. He had just now detected the history a digit of modern times. It was always nigh the self. McDonalds one time; Wendy's the close. Then Burger King, Applebee, Fast Burger, Swift Burger, Instant Burger, Hot Burger, Chili Burger, etc. etc.

In a second the Aide was support accompanied by 3 Americans each carrying his own, predictable attaché armour.

"Coño, they all form close to Warren Christopher the old Secretary of State in the nineties" - musing Fidel.

They were of atmosphere height, weak complexion, poor heavy tone and a sad appearance in the eye that brought to head Leonard Cohen's wailing songs. The aged one spoke:

"Comandante, as you know we are now processed to question your approaching. The President has sceptered us to award you near the finest alternatives conceivable. The US Government is in order to oblige you brand the change of state in the quality expressions probable for you and the upcoming of your land. You may make a choice from various position modes. There is the Battista model, the Trujillo, the Baby Doc, the Peron, the Shah of Persia, the Somoza, the Rojas Pinilla, the Perez Jimenez and the Idi Amin models. They all have performed to the clients satisfaction concluded the time of life.."

"I cognize all about those models. Most of those guys concluded up in Spain once Franco was alive. But the old man is gone and Spain is no longest the shelter it was."

"Well, Comandante, Spain would not be a bad superior for you. As I know it, your parents were from Galicia and you static have family connections in attendance. Besides, Spain has been one of the few countries that has kept up side by side children beside Cuba, form of the Iberian bough of the socialistic relationship. We are also sensible that you were specially well-disposed next to Felipe Gonzalez, the Prime Minister in the prototypic Socialist governing body in Spain.."

Castro smiled at him and in a at ease tone said:

"Lissen, for a State Department hoodoo man, you are not asymptomatic wise. Haven't you detected that Socialism and socialists are retributive roughly speaking away in Europe? Those guys forgot roughly speaking the people; forgot in the region of the illustrious revolution; forgot going on for the humanistic discipline official document they had recognised and allowed all sorts of sold-out practices and wrong dealings to classify a shadowiness on our terrible philosophy. Some of them seemed to have well-read their messy deceit from Batista. And let me share you..."

At this point, his Aide, Coronel Roldan, anticipating another one of Fidel's long-drawn-out tirades, discontinued the Comandante by transient to him a sheet of paper.

Fidel publication it slowly, mutely poignant his orifice and clenching and unclenching his fists.

"They off my Gold Visa card, the pigs!"

The Americans were understood aback. They accomplished that different inopportune creep had been made; the course relating the State Department and the Banking Community had traditionally been weak and tarnished and, often, no amount of beseeching or cajoling could get the Banks to move away from their set procedures. The appeals to xenophobia and negotiation were invariably standard beside the civil refusals calm for inactive communicating workforce applying for a loan.

They a moment ago stood at hand and inaudibly awaited Fidel's side by side voice communication.

"Well, that is one thing you can do for me. Get me the damned card stern in goings-on. I can do in need nearly anything object my Cohibas and minus a thanks card, I couldn't even get a utilised cigar."

One of the envoys utilised his compartment phone to telephony his place of business with guidelines to bring back Castro's paper. Then, all 3 of them took turns reciting a extended enumerate of places and other fine points as potential status havens for the Comandante. There were places similar to La Paz, Bolivia, Helsingfors, Vancouver, Auckland, New Zealand, and Helen, the Bavarian Village north-central of Atlanta, Georgia..

The Comandante did not give the impression of being impressed.

"Stop now, por benignity. I don't privation to be activated suchlike a diseased person and caught distant like an loss of composure. I would resembling to kind thing of myself. For instance, location is a affluent Banquet and Speech electrical circuit in the US. I realise that Bush Sr., Schwarzkopf, Al Gore, Bill Clinton, Kissinger, Canseco and others get more than 100 cardinal pesos for all demeanour. Jesus! I have so many speeches in me that I could speak up to 4 a day - lacking continuation myself."

"Comandante" Interrupted the senior envoy, who up to the sec seemed to have been sound asleep "Please recognize that you can not acquire illustrious temporary rehabilitation in the US and that any avenues are fatefully not available to you.."

"I abominate to accept it, but I presume you are moderately exact. But I would just respect to occur in David Letterman's variety. I could execute 10 clarification going on for thing he'd privation. Also, don't archer me that the Kiwanis Club, the Rotarians, the cardinal community clubs you have in places similar Kickapoo Junction, Yuma, Laguna Nigel, Kissing Falls, Dunwoody, Perkins Corner, would not care to have me report them in the order of our empyreal revolution and how we subjugated Batista and his vitiated military service. And don't worry, I can smoothly style my speeches to what the American laypeople wants to hear. Besides, I am fattening attacking American imperialism, the exchange import barrier and the culture I get from the recognition paper general public both occurrence I am two hours latish next to my payments. You can too be convinced that I shan't comment the cigars I've been causation done Mexico and Canada to the selected few in Washington, Wall Street and Yankee Stadium...."

"Comandante, I am unhappy but the US is out. There are now too many Cuban Americans who would reason strenuously to your attendance in our land. Don't bury that you were guilty for their having to check out of Cuba and wrap up in Florida."

Fidel let go near a rolling and reverberative utterance. He obstructed on it and inverted red purplish. All the event banging his mitt on the top of the bureau. As the coughing subsided, he continued to chortle but in a much average rage.

"Santo Dios! You have uncomprehensible the barb all these eld. If I viewing up in the States, partially a million Cubans would poverty to habitus me a statuette. Not simply that but they would get designed and previously monthlong I would be moving for Congress. Cubans in the States are, and will be everlastingly grateful to me that I guarded them to shove their asses from our sandy, tropical and faineant beaches and invade Florida. They found a communicate in its ending throes, in meanness of its terrific and scenic beaches, lagoons, islands, weather, mangoes and couthy crocs. They worked their evening dress off - their own not the crocs - and upset Florida into a shelter for old Americans, bleary Canadians and an bold pack of adolescent Americans on time off. The Cubans have all get comfortable and well-to-do and ready-made a cardinal others be paid so much currency that at one clip the Swiss bankers wanted to buy Florida, gratefulness to whom? Can't you see that since Ponce de Leon's life we Cubans have felt that La Florida was ours? We have in recent times ready-made it subsidise after all these time of life. But it was Castro who helped them formulate up their minds."

"That is for sure a thoroughly productive standpoint on history, Comandante"

"Comandante" accessorial one of the opposite envoys, whose ears cragfast a bit towards disparate cardinal points, "Our involvement is not the residue of Cuba but yourself at this element. And we are here to aid you work out the substance. As you know, deadlines have been set and the UN, the OAS, NAFTA, LAFTA and the Baseball League Commissioners are uneasy that you resign from Cuba as before long as achievable."

Castro took other extended twist on the Cohiba and smiled.

"Si, si ya lo sé. I give thanks you and your President for the interest you are showing. I am existent once I say that I will move out Cuba soon; I am alive more than a one thousand percent (a favorite Castro countenance) that within are pressures. But indulge don't send me Jimmy Carter over again. He's been impulsive me nuts over and done with the touchtone phone even if I individually close to him Also the concluding juncture he was present he fagged a integral morning revealing me in the order of his basilica outfit in Plains, Georgia and commerce me a number of noncitizen Gospel. The old guy doesn't recognize that his travels in overseas affairs are creating a pattern unforced to ape. Carter has managed to activate your honour arrangement of inactive imperialists who up until now were mothballed in supplementary milieu. Let me bowman you. I have standard calls from Kissinger, McNamara, Jackie Robinson, Eartha Kitt, President Ford, Billy Graham, Cronkite, Dan Rather, Jack Welch, Yogi Berra and Julio Iglesias. They all poverty to assistance me "make the transition", as they say. They all impoverishment to mediate, spend a few life in Havana, then go put money on and create their accounts on how they reclaimed the day and manipulable Castro"

"But what is it that you really want, Comandante ?"

"Well, to start, I want you to put me in touch next to Simon and Schuster, Random House, Doubleday, and several opposite top publishers. I would like to have a down-to-earth early of cardinal or ten cardinal dollars for my life story. Also I would entail an agent, human like Tony DeVito, and likewise a beingness ratify to the World Series Games. By the way, don't bury to get me a swell Health Insurance policy, close to the one your Congressmen have. I impoverishment to live in in the States. But not in Florida, too frequent Cubans near.

"As I said, Comandante, the US is out. There is midget you could bring to our democracy.."

"Well, I don't cognise.. I could relief Bush and his colleagues relax out their Iraq headache. Also, Medicare, Medicaid and all those other devious policy mature by your doctors, health professional companies, morticians, can newspaper engineers and who knows who else. They have ready-made the scheme so detailed that advanced citizens prefer to die or transmigrate to Mexico or Canada. Hell of a way to run a terrain. "

"Comandante, Health Care is a multifactorial content in the US, and involves much all sectors of our universal and monetary levels."

"No joda, hombre! You lately produce it complex, or rather, let dissimilar groups to put together it labyrinthine. I bet you that if Washington proposed legislation that would abolish taxes, engineer all transportation, eudaemonia thinking and background 100 proportionality free, would cut the position age to 30 old age and tallness a railway to all the earth resorts that could be ridden free of charge, location would be a heavy partly in the country that would be angrily anti..."

"Comandante, opposition, overriding to the treatment of issues is a cardinal constituent of our ideology. We e'er await disparate points of view, but we also trust that bulk decisions be esteemed...."
"Yes I detected that before, but I spectacle if your business executive has. We in Cuba have one of the record precocious Health Care systems in the complete celestial body. I did it in smaller amount than two years; I had to get rid of all the administrators and the layers of lawyers that untidy the scheme beneath Batista. To tell you the truth, I enjoyed effort rid of all those who same it could not be through with. That is wherever Florida came in handy..."

The older envoy extraordinary complete that he had to humor Fidel a while long. The shortest approach did not seem to have any phenomenon on the Comandante. Castro continued:

"Señor, sometimes you gotta be firm, or the hormigas will eat you. In my case, it was truly clear-cut. No more sheltered clinics, closed-door doctors, sequestered deals. Our honest Russian friends helped few beside new concepts in Hospital care, headship and usage, and yield of low disbursement pharmaceuticals.. My way of life was as well really simplex. A doc is skilled to organize a service, but so is a samuel barber. I accepted the inconsistency in the genus of service and thespian up a corresponding amount of penalty and expiation but not same in the US, Europe and the industrialised nations, wherever a medical man earns two to 3 cardinal dollars while a barber scarcely takes nest 12 to 16,000 dollars a year. Everyone present has accession to medical assistance, rightful similar to any remaining open work specified as dynamical on highways, minor road on the lights, or sitting on a brush coast. We nationalized the doctors along next to virus and sickness. We legalize them."

He paused to permit his company to penchant the make colder Cuba Libres served by Colonel Roldan. Shaking his head, he continued:

"The big catch you have is that too many a group get woozy out here. Stop lousing up your food and everything near artificial natural science ingredients, preservatives, oxidizers, additives, colorants, anti-this and anti-that. And preceding all defend your youthful from junk feed. It is in all likelihood the best deadly way to feeling their average fostering. You must curb ingestion grate upon shard of unwanted items foods equipped in greasy ovens in aflame garages and prepared by uncoordinated big academy dropouts"

Again, Coronel Roldan saved the day. This was a branch of learning that could support Fidel "on the air" for a concrete period of time. He coughed discreetly and approached the Comandante. He unvoiced in Castro's ear and courteously people to the rear of the breathing space.

"Gentlemen, fulfil grant me, Coronel Roldan simply told me that tiffin time unit is nearly onetime. I optimism you'll do me the laurels of having a meal beside me..."

"Of course, we will be delighted"

"Great, Colonel Roldan honourable told me that the pizzas he ordered are here!"



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